Heaven Help Us (1985)

Director: Michael Dinner
Writer: Charles Pupura
Stars: Andrew McCarthy, Mary Stuart Masterson, Kevin Dillon, Malcolm Danare, Jennie Dundas, Kate Reid, Wallace Shawn, Jay Patterson, John Heard and Donald Sutherland

Index: Make It a Double.

While Stephen Geoffreys’s second choice for Make it a Double was the film he’s best known for, Fright Night, he picked this first. It’s an odd mix of comedy and drama that gave a number of young actors early roles: it was the third for Andrew McCarthy and Mary Stuart Masterson, but the first for Kevin Dillon, Patrick Dempsey and, indeed, Geoffreys.

The version I watched still had the original title of Catholic Boys intact, but I can see why it was changed for the American market. It may have misled a lot of viewers, given that half of it is serious drama, exposing everyday life in a strict Catholic school, St. Basil’s in Brooklyn, but the other half is wild comedy, not quite to the degree of Porky’s but far closer than would be guessed with a title like Catholic Boys.

The lead character is Michael Dunn, who we watch transfer into St. Basil’s and try to find a place in the established pecking order, which ends up being as one of five boys who coalesce into rather than naturally form a group. That’s them on the poster.

The Unholy Three (1925)

Director: Tod Browning
Writer: Waldemar Young, based on the novel by Tod Robbins
Stars: Lon Chaney, Mae Busch and Matt Moore

Index: That's a Wrap!

There are other legendary collaborations in the silent era, but the standout on the darker side of film was between Lon Chaney and Tod Browning. That didn’t technically begin here, as they’d made a pair of Priscilla Dean movies, The Wicked Darling and Outside the Law, at the turn of the decade, but this was where their partnership as lead actor and director started.

It spanned eight features over five years and I look forward to covering them all. Well, all of the ones still extant, at least. People claim that they’ve found London After Midnight often but, thus far, they’ve all been liars. Here’s to a true discovery soon! Check your attics, folks.

I’m especially fond of this film because it’s based on a novel by Tod Robbins, whose story, Spurs, was filmed by Browning as Freaks. Fans of that film will recognise Harry Earles as one of the trio of crooks who make up the Unholy Three, with Chaney and future Oscar winner Victor McLaglen. The stories aren’t related but do share a common theme in carnival life.

Tru Loved (2008)

Director: Stewart Wade
Writer: Stewart Wade
Stars: Najarra Townsend, Matthew Thompson, Jake Abel and Tye Olson

I find it fascinating that Vernon Wells chose Tru Loved for his double and it speaks volumes about how he must feel about its message.

For one thing, his part is pretty flimsy and ruthlessly one note. Coach Wesley has a brand of bigotry and, when it manifests, it manifests just how we expect. There’s little opportunity for any actor to get his teeth into the role.

To be fair, the Coach may be just as bigoted about other things that simply don’t arise in this film. Tru Loved is an indie LGBTQ+ drama, so it’s his homophobia that comes out to rage and it does so without subtlety. Maybe that’s why he played up his Australian accent.

Circuitry Man (1990)

Director: Steven Lovy
Writers: Steven and Robert Lovy
Stars: Jim Metzler, Dana Wheeler-Nicholson, Dennis Christopher and Vernon Wells

Index: Make It a Double.

If I was on autopilot, I’d start this review by pointing out that Circuitry Man is a “bad movie, but...” and then talk about all the things I liked about it. However, it really isn’t a bad movie. It is, however, a cheap movie, whether I buy into IMDb’s suggestion that it cost a mere $5,000 or not. Then again, if it started life as a thesis film at UCLA, maybe that’s true.

So, Circuitry Man is a “cheap movie, but...”. It isn’t hard to come up with negatives, starting with the opening credits that run weirdly long and alternate with imagery when they should have overlaid it. The text scrolls up as we head down, through the layers of post-apocalyptic underground L.A. But hey, a $5,000 budget. In that context, these negatives are forgettable.

We’re underground because the atmosphere is gone and what air remains is unbreathable. Climate change concerns were big in 1990 and we can only dream about rich politicians who craft policies after watching straight to video sci-fi flicks instead of reading Ayn Rand.