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Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Nice Cock! (2011)

Directors: Rod Blackhurst & Brian McGinn
Stars: Alex Perez, Dave Mays and Meg Cionni

As Meg Cionni sadly had so little to do in Buck Wild, which played in Tucson last night as part of the Arizona Underground Film Festival, and because I had so much fun talking with her earlier this year while she was promoting Waking at the Phoenix Film Festival, I felt I should review a couple of short films that she made for a sketch comedy outfit called Tough Break Kid that aren't quite so likely to play film festivals. Well, that and I really want to see how my search traffic spikes after I cover a film called Nice Cock! That's the first one up, if you excuse the pun, and it's about as subtle as it sounds. Then again, Alex Perez and Dave Mays, the guys behind Tough Break Kid, aren't really about subtle; they make commercials, short films and sketches for websites like Funny or Die, so they have to get their point across quick enough for today's ADD generation to notice before they tune into one of the many other options sprawled over the same front page. So... Nice Cock!

Perez and Mays wrote and produced this one and they play the two young gentlemen hanging out at the Harvard House Motel pool, waiting for a girl to descend the stairs to see them. Yes, that's Cionni and, given that she can do enticing in her sleep, her toughest job here is to get through her dialogue without cracking up. I wonder how much the editing choices were set by how much laughter they had to work around on the best take. Let's just say that the film's title is merely the conversation opener and the writers proceed to haul out more double entendres than a six pack of Carry On movies, even though the picture only runs a slice over two minutes. You can write most of the script yourself, if you have the same sense of humour as these guys, but the ending still comes out of the blue. Both actors are rather good at the shocked blank stare, Dave Mays especially. He freezes so well the first time it's called for that I thought he was a cardboard cutout. I wonder if you'll freeze too.

By the way, don't ever google for '"nice cock" festival'; trust me, this film isn't even close to the top and you don't want to know what is. Don't even ask about searching for screenshots. Of course, now I wonder if this review will make that result list. Such are the wonders of the internet age.

Nice Cock! is available to watch for free on Vimeo.

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