Wednesday 2 July 2008

Vice Academy Part 2 (1990)

So in case you're watching Vice Academy Part 2 for the plot progression, Didi and Holly are now vice cops but they're still hardly dressed and they're still getting into trouble. They get assigned to the vice squad switchboard and promptly fail to provide any backup to Officer Petrolino, a self obsessed dweeb who goes by the handle of Big Nightstick. He walks into a gunfight without a loaded gun, then calls for help over the police band from his car while he gets beaten up like a complete wuss. Naturally he blames Didi and Holly for everything and even wants to get them kicked off the force.

Meanwhile a Tracy Ullman lookalike in cool lingerie called Spanish Fly has a masterplan to earn herself twenty million bucks. She has one of her cronies put a potent aphrodisiac into a water cooler at the police station, thus causing Miss Devonshire to half strip in a meeting. It So the cops bring out BimboCop to do the job. Yeah, BimboCop. You can imagine. She's played by the Russian bodybuilder from Jumpin' Jack Flash who is fine in the role, but what a role... And while BimboCop is stuck on the switchboard in Worthless mode, Holly and Didi infiltrate the one and only location that Spanish Fly could possibly be running her operation from.

Yeah, I'm guessing you're not watching this for the plot progression. What do you really care about? Well Linnea Quigley and Ginger Lynn get topless, and so does Toni Alessandrini who was the hooker who turned up with the donkey in Bachelor Party. Linnea Quigley also gets a supposed death by ecstasy scene that's more than fun. To be honest, she's by far the best thing about the film and you'd really have to be a Quigley fan to seek the thing out in the first place. Beyond Linnea, the only thing better in this film than the last one is that the police station at least looks vaguely like a police station. Vaguely.

That and, surprise of surprises, former Chippendale and future Playgirl Man of the Year Scott Layne is amazingly effective as Petrolino. He's probably the nicest guy anyone ever met, but anyone who sees him in this then meets him for real must have a heck of a time not believing he's as sexist as they come. I have no clue how he managed to keep a straight face coming out with the lines he's given. They're truly awful but in a stunningly entertaining way. Other than all that, this is a pretty painful sequel.

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